The first reported case in Asia was by a Korean poultry farmer. One fine morning, he discovered that one of his chickens was missing, and innocently uttered, “Bird flew.” Den, dey thot da name wasn’t k3wL enuff, and ‘bird flu’ was born. Since then, birds started flying everywhere else, with the latest flights being sighted in France, Nigeria and Iraq, as reported by u-know-WHO.
Apart from birds, flying pigs have been sighted, though in much lesser numbers. Flying humans have been sighted too, but in very, very rare cases. But then, who wants to fly anwyay? Though it has not been specifically proved, some human flights have been linked to sightings of bird flight. Experts have advised to cook them and their eggs properly to render them flightless.
The term has been effectively used by PETA (Professional Extreme Tacticians in Air) to further their cause. They iterate that among the varied hazards of flying is that u can fly into an unassuming bird and drop dead any time. For quite sometime now, they have been distributing t-shirts that read –
Bird flu
Will u?
in the front and a picture of a dead chicken in the back.
One way to prevent flying of birds, apart from separating them from the flying flock and clipping their wings, is to employ bird flu waxing vaccine. It is supposed to make them inactive and unmoving. Apparently, chickens thus rendered, especially broilers, are extremely sensitive to fright and shock. Last heard, a marriage ceremony had left 99 chickens in a poultry farm dead the next morning. Consequent investigations showed that it had nothing to do with the fact that it was a Punjabi marriage. The case was finally dropped when it was discovered that the only survivor in the calamity was a dumb chick. And it was not a blonde even!
“Technology is to be blamed. It’s made us lazy; all we do is sit, eat and sleep. After sometimes, we won’t even be able to attend Punjabi marriages.” – a socialite.
“Birds fly, they don’t flew.” – George Bush
